Category: relative

Friendship That Can be Unhealthy.

Friendship That Can be Unhealthy.

When you’ve outgrown your clothes, you toss them. But what about your friends?

Every person has at least one or two buddies that, sooner or later, will go the way of the cargo shorts. It’s time to move on.

And that’s okay. While research has shown that positive relationships both improve your health and extend your life, negative relationships have just the opposite effect. Simply stressful or frustrating friendships can be unhealthy.  

So how do you know when it’s time to throw out a friendship? Here are the nine types of friends you might have to dump—and how to let them down easy.

1. THE PLAYER: 

Hes about one thing and one thing only: getting laid.

You loved having him around during your single years, but he’s still gunning for new “conquests” every weekend, and your wife thinks he’s an ass. 

Keep or cut: “Your friend isn’t a bad guy. He’s simply at a different phase of life than you are,” says Irene Levine.

 

 2. THE SPORTS FANATIC

He watches every game—pro or college—in all four major sports . . . plus soccer.

You’re still passionate about sports, and you enjoy catching the big games, but you’d rather spend the majority of your free time with your partner and kids.

Keep or cut: Meet up every so often to watch a game together. As far as his constant stream of sports-related emails, calls, and texts, Levine recommends ignoring them. He’ll get the message.

If that doesn’t work? Let him go. 

3. THE SINGLE GUY

He’s a nice guy, but he just can’t seem to find the right person. He also feels the need to talk to you about it constantly.

You feel bad that you havent successfully set him up, but after endless introductions and nights spent as a wing man, theres only so much you can do.

Keep or cut: Forget subtlety. Tell your friend that life is about more than landing the right woman, and he needs to find some other hobbies in order to be appealing to another person.

4. THE CHEATER

He’s a great friend, and everybody loves him. He’s charismatic and charming, and he’s with a fantastic, funny woman. Your girlfriend gets along great with his partner, but there’s one small problem: He’s a shameless, habitual two-timer.

You’ve seen him cheat on his girl—or at least try to—every time you’re out on the town without your partners, and you know one of these days he’s going to get you in a lot of trouble. (Men arent the only ones who are unfaithful. 

Keep or cut: If you don’t stop hanging out with this guy, you’re going to pay the price.  Even if you’re not with him when he cheats, you’ll be smeared by association, he adds.

5. THE LIVING-IN-THE-PAST FRIEND

You’ve known this guy since high school, and most of the time it feels like he’s still back there. He constantly references funny stuff that happened to you “that one time sophomore year,” or “when you asked that older guy to buy you beer.”

Keep or cut: “Don’t let him drag his past into your present”. You’re either moving forward or falling behind, he says.

“Friendships can’t be sustained only on old memories,” 

“If you like him, plan some new adventures together.”

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Libra And Leo Connection

Libra And Leo Connection

LEO & LIBRA SEXUAL & INTIMACY COMPATIBILITY

 

When a Leo and a Libra come together, they don’t need much time to build up a healthy sex life. With Leo’s confidence, and Libra’s sexuality, they tend to inspire each other to become great lovers when together. Their sex life is usually filled with respect, and they feel free to try out new things with one another. If they found their relationship on a strong mutual attraction, they could enjoy a satisfying sex life for a very long time.

Leo doesn’t mind being seen and Libra is a sign that represents the public eye. Although this says something about their sexual preferences too, they will usually be well behaved in public. As soon as any restrictions show up, they will have to play out their passionate scenarios at any time, and in any place in which they get a chance to be alone if only for a minute. Libra is a sign of Saturn’s exaltation and it is easy for them to wait and be rational, but with passionate Leo they find it hard to stay in control.

 

LEO & LIBRA TRUST

 

It is not that often for Leo and Libra to share a relationship filled with mutual trust. The problem here arises from their understanding of the Sun, for it rules Leo and falls in Libra. To add to that, Leo is a sign of Neptune’s fall and Libra can often sense the dishonesty behind Leo’s confident act, if there is any. The problem lies in the fact that they both like to be seen, but in an entirely different way. Leo wants to show everything they’ve got and Libra wants to get approval from other people. None of them understands the other, and this can become a reason to get jealous and mistrustful. If they wish to remain in a trusting relationship, they need to find approval and a suitable audience in each other to begin with. Only then will they be able to move on and look for these things in other people without arising suspicion.

LEO & LIBRA COMMUNICATION AND INTELLECT

 
 

When it comes to the rational side of their relationship, Leo and Libra have a very nice way to support each other’s personalities and communicate. The sex-tile between their Suns usually makes it possible for them to respect each other, and help each other build stronger personalities, free of judgment of any kind. Their elements of Fire and Air fit perfectly and there is a passionate approach of Leo for every idea of Libra. Their communication is fast and inspiring, although sometimes hard to ground through constructive ideas if Libra doesn’t rely on its cold and rational relationship with Saturn.

The problem arises if Libra feels any sort of jealousy at their Leo partner for their sometimes unfounded confidence and that inner sense of security. The only way for Libra to learn how to feel confident as well is to accept this ability of Leo as the best part of their beautiful character. If Libra starts judging Leo, making assumptions on how their partner should behave but doesn’t, their mutual respect will fade and they will both miss the point of their relationship.

 
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LEO & LIBRA EMOTIONS

 

These two signs represent our loving relationships and marriage, and when you look at this couple, you will see that their love for one another is real, obvious, shown and leading them in a certain direction. They will never end up in a relationship with no future, and their belief in love will move them towards marriage, children and growing old together, if only they share enough trust and love. Ruled by the Sun and by Venus, these signs represent one of the basic planetary cycles of love that is often connected to periods of eight years. If they stay together longer than that, they might as well walk down the aisle and have a bunch of kids.

 

LEO & LIBRA VALUES

 

Nothing holds greater value for Leo than someone’s strong personality and their own pride and heroism. Libra, on the other hand, values justice and one’s ability to be the hero – something they often think they lack. They are finely compatible when it comes to matters of the Sun and they complement each other well in a way that helps them both learn about expressing themselves and their abilities and strengths. The problem with this couple is in their relationship toward Saturn, and while Leo represents its detriment, Libra exalts it. Although this can be a lesson to be learned, the challenge of responsibility they take on unequally can tear them apart. Leo needs to get serious and realize what their responsibility is to fit into the thing Libra values most – reliability and tact.

LEO & LIBRA SHARED ACTIVITIES

 

There is a strange similarity in the speed of these signs. Leo is a Fire sign and as such it shouldn’t be slow as a Water sign or and Earth sign. Libra belongs to the element of Air, and it should be faster than any other element. But when you look at these two signs, you will see that Leo would like to sleep 20 hours per day, and Libra needs to think about everything twice and carefully choose activities and words they want to say. This doesn’t sound that fast, does it? If they share the same interests, they could have an endless field of possibilities for shared activities. They will mostly enjoy “red carpet” events and the fancy gatherings where they can both show one another to the world.

The biggest problem in their choice of activities lies in Libra’s indecisive nature that Leo simply doesn’t understand, and usually doesn’t have patience for. This is where they might give in to the temptation to “help” them decide, taking over the wheel and deciding instead of them. This can lead to mutual lack of respect, even though it seems like a little thing that no one would even notice. They need to give each other time, and stay as independent as possible.

SUMMARY

 

If you want to sum up the relationship between a Leo and a Libra, you have to understand that their bond involves the beautiful and challenging dignities of Saturn and the Sun. They have a lot to learn from each other, and the main goal of their relationship is to reach the point of shared respect and responsibility in a perfect balance of power. It will sometimes be hard for them to overcome the need for competing, trying to determine who is a better, smarter or a more capable person. Even if they don’t, their relationship will be something to enjoy and show off in public.

Change For Better Me!

Change For Better Me!

If You don’t Like Piercing, Don’t do It!

If You Don’t Like tattoos, Don’t Get any!

dont-do-it

If You Don’t Agree With Abortion, Don’t Get One!

If You Don’t Like Something, Don’t Do It!

But

DO NOT PREVENT SOMEONE ELSE FROM DOING IT JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE IT!

I Talk About Him

I Talk About Him

I Talk About Him, Because am Proud Of Him. 

I Talk about Him, Because he Deserves to be Remembered. 

I Talk about him, Because even though He is Not Physically with me, he is never far away from my Mind. 

I Talk About him, Because He is a Part Of Me, A Part that i could never ignore or Disown. 

I Talk About Him Because I Still Love Him and I Will always Love Him. 

If You’re Searching Yourself For A Purpose, Ask Yourself These Questions!

If You’re Searching Yourself For A Purpose, Ask Yourself These Questions!

We are all searching ourselves for a purpose, a career or a life that really matter. So if you feel stuck, trapped or hopeless—if you want more—ask yourself these five questions to get your life back on track:

1. Why am I here?

Seriously.

Right now, whatever coffee shop, classroom, cubicle or conference room you might be sitting in, why are you here?

  • What brought me to this moment?
  • What strengths, personality, creativity and talent do I have at my disposal?
  • Without placing blame or making some sort of rationalization, what the heck am I doing with my life today?

2. What is my story?

Stories are powerful, regardless of whether they are true. They give you a narrative to live by and life lessons to pass on, that shape the person you are becoming.

One of the reasons you might be experiencing unrest and frustration in life today is that you might not have a better story shaping your life.

You need a heroic narrative. A story that calls out your best and highest self.

A big part of this is learning how to let go of past guilt and regret, and to start living your life with conviction. You cannot change your past, but you can create a better future. Today is a new day with new opportunities, so start living a better story.  Live with a deeper sense of responsibility with the amazing talents, genius and strengths you have been given.

Get-Lost-And-Find-Yourself

3. Who do I need?

Investing in the right relationships and surrounding yourself with the right people is crucial to your success. It sounds a bit harsh, but there are some necessary endings that you need to embrace—friends who are not really friends, people who suck the life out of you.

  • Who in my life is holding me back from becoming my best self?
  • Who do I need to ask for help?
  • Do I have any honest voices in my life?

4. What is at stake?

  • What upsets me about the world today?
  • What frustrates me?
  • What problem do I want to solve?

These are clues to your calling. Windows into your soul. Why? What frustrates you reveals what you care about most. The only way to live life with passion is to discover, name and fight for what matters most to you.

5. How can I help?

In layman’s terms, your life can impact and influence others in meaningful ways. Even small ways. A smile, a hug, a thank you, a high-five, eye contact, an email or kind word. All energy transferring in the form of hope from you to another. How beautiful is that?

But you have to start. Commit to serve someone else in some small way. Give more than you take. Listen more than you talk. Write an email or letter of encouragement to someone who has helped you. Get your focus off yourself and onto others.

I guarantee you will surprise yourself with how good it feels to fight for something that matters. For someone who needs your help.

How to stop Musings of Relatives in your Life!

How to stop Musings of Relatives in your Life!

Every family has a few of these types, those who stake their right to every bit of information!

They are the eager beavers or the frequent busybodies present almost in every family. Many a times these intrusive individuals are not overly concerned because they are altruistic or want to see harmony in the family; it is usually because they are meddlers.

 

Define and verbalize your boundaries: You set the boundaries in your relationships. If those boundaries are crossed and the other person can’t seem to take the hint, you have to assert yourself to restore balance. If you have relatives who fail to respect your boundaries and behave as if the purpose of your relationship is for you to bend over backwards to satisfy all of their needs, you certainly aren’t alone. I’m talking about boundaries that you consider to be bottom lines that should not be crossed, ones that make you feel violated when they are. 

 

Often people make the mistake of succumbing to the outwardly friendly approach of these busy bodies and succumb to their wily ways for the purpose of being liked. By the time they realize, it is too late as they may have established habits and practices that are not only irritating, but also interfering. It’s a fact in most extended families’, relatives feel they have a right to all information and assume an active central role. The thought is that since you are related, you should share every intimate detail of your life with each other, and give commentary and suggestions. In large families, this takes the form of gossip about other family members providing entertainment value.

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One must set limits with them and its never too late to do this, because the longer they are allowed to interfere, the greater the influence these meddling types will have on your relationships with others. It is important to speak up when asked to do or say something with which you do not agree.

Do not sacrifice your opinions or what you know to be right simply for the sake of getting along with your relatives. When they do something you do not like, tell them in a civilized manner what they did and why it upsets you.

Try and be conciliatory by explaining what is acceptable, but again, not at the expense of your beliefs or self-esteem. If you have reconnected with any of the family member, be on alert. Old patterns will most likely remain in waiting to thrust you into the same old position.

With this said keep in mind that you have to do what is best for yourself, regardless of how your family may respond.

The choice of making a change is something that you are doing for your benefit, and not for anyone else’s harm.

You should not feel guilty for doing what is right for you.

 

To prevent your relatives from meddling in your personal affairs here are a few tips you may want to try:

  1. Do not talk too much about your business.
  2. Keep your business out of the street.
  3. Just say nothing. If someone in your family comes to you meddling. Just tell them you don’t wish to talk about it.
  4. Tell your kids to keep their tongue. Sometimes conniving relatives will go so far as to ask your children questions about your life. If some of their relatives want to know about you, tell your children to say, “you have to ask my mother or father about that.”
  5. Change the conversation. If a family member wants to meddle in your affairs, try changing the subject.
  6. Flip the question around on them. Most times people like to meddle in your affairs, but they do not like for you to meddle in their’s.
  7. Another tactic is to answer their questions with one of your own. When the meddling relative begins to inquire about your personal life in a way that you aren’t comfortable with, here is your answer: “Why do you ask?”. The question makes them uncomfortable and forces them to assess their true motives, as well.

 

Lay new ground rules for your relationship, and stick by them, even when it hurts. It will pay off in the long run.

Eventually your family will get used to the new you, and learn how to relate to you.

Family is what you are born into, there is no choice about it. Do all that you can to keep these relationships healthy and intact. They are important, but always remember that you are in control of your life and how you choose to live it. Don’t allow yourself to be run over or exhausted by meddlesome relatives.

“You can put a stop to it, at best by questioning their intent and at worst by severing the relations.”